You've been waiting
for them with bated breath, so without further ado, here are the
2015 Darwin Awards:
Eighth Place
In Detroit , a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of
water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate
to retrieve his car keys.
Seventh Place
A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally zoned when he
ran", accidentally jogged off a 100-foot high cliff on his daily
run.
Sixth Place
While at the beach, Daniel Jones, 21, dug an 8 foot hole for
protection from the wind and had been sitting in a beach chair at
the bottom, when it collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand.
People on the beach used their hands and shovels trying to get him
out but could not reach him. It took rescue workers using heavy
equipment almost an hour to free him. Jones was pronounced dead at a
hospital.
Fifth Place
Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed as he fell through the ceiling of
a bicycle shop he was burglarizing. Death was caused when the long
flashlight he had placed in his mouth to keep his hands free rammed
into the base of his skull as he hit the floor.
Fourth Place
Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed as he won a bet with friends
who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into
his mouth and pull the trigger.
Third Place
After stepping around a marked police patrol car parked at the front
door, a man walked into H&J Leather & Firearms intent on robbing the
store. The shop was full of customers and a uniformed officer was
standing at the counter. Upon seeing the officer, the would-be
robber announced a hold-up and fired a few wild shots from a target
pistol.
The officer and a
clerk promptly returned fire, and several customers also drew their
guns and fired. The robber was pronounced dead at the scene by
Paramedics. Crime scene investigators located 47 expended cartridge
cases in the shop. The subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot
wounds. Ballistics identified rounds from 7 different weapons. No
one else was hurt.
HONORABLE
MENTION
Paul Stiller, 47, and his wife Bonnie were bored just driving around
at 2 A.M. So they lit a quarter stick of dynamite to toss out the
window to see what would happen. Apparently they failed to notice
that the window was closed.
RUNNER UP
Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends when one of
them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from a local
bridge in the middle of traffic. The conversation grew more
excited, and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge
at 4:30 AM.
Upon arrival at the
midpoint of the bridge, they discovered that no one had brought a
bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued drinking, volunteered and
pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable lay nearby. They
secured one end around Bingham's leg and then tied the other to the
bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before the cable tightened and
tore his foot off at the ankle. He miraculously survived his
fall into the icy water and was rescued by two nearby fishermen.
Bingham's foot was never located.
AND THE WINNER
IS....
Zoo keeper Friedrich Riesfeldt ( Paderborn , Germany ) fed his
constipated elephant 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a
bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm
finally got relief. Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was
attempting to give the ailing elephant an olive oil enema when the
relieved beast unloaded.
The sheer force of
the elephant's unexpected defecation knocked Mr Riesfeldt to the
ground where he struck his head on a rock as the elephant continued
to evacuate 200 pounds of dung on top of him.
It seems to be
just one of those freak accidents that proves... 'Shit happens'
IT ALWAYS SEEMS
IMPORTANT TO THANK THESE PEOPLE FOR REMOVING THEMSELVES FROM THE
GENE POOL.
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Cast Member still brings his gun to work:
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US Gun History |
More Guns = Less Crime |
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WOKE |
WOKE |
VA Hates Conservative Veterans |
Democrats are idiots - here's why |
Pure Blood & Proud |
Legoland FL going WOKE |
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Transgenders |
Transgenders |
Proof Michelle Obama is really a man (transwoman)
(video) |
Your
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(video) |
Letter to protect NON-transgender kids. |
WDW has coed locker rooms |
Cake maker wins against gay militants |
Biological males don't belong in girls' sports |
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The original Boy's in the Hood |
If 30 million illegal aliens returned home? |
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Proof that Obama (and Biden) Hate the Military |
These are Democrats |
American Red Cross are racists |
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Only in America can this happen |
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Immigrants: Past VS Present |
Reasons to not take the Covid-19 immunization |
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Do
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Do
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Secrets to keep tenants happy
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Are
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(video) |
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Blacks |
Are Blacks violent? |
8 questions about blacks and whites |
Are blacks more
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YES |
Are
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All Lives Matter |
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Are Muslims violent? yes |
Are Muslims idiots? yes |
Are Muslims Idiots? |
Muslim assimilation |
Mohammed cartoons |
Can a Muslim be a good American or Canadian?
NO |
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Disney World (WDW) |
Disney World (WDW) |
WDW breaking FL Law
FL Law: Bring your gun to work |
Cast Member still brings his gun to work:
WDW says NO, I say YES
(video) |
WDW cast member says Bob Chapek is an ASS
(video) |
Disney's Bob Chapek is a groomer
(video) |
WDW Transportation Mangement's email addresses
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Walt Disney World rides, ride times, fast pass times and helpful hints |
WDW 4-keys: Recognitions |
I was bus dispatcher for WDW |
WDW hates Veterans |
FUCK the FBI and ATF
FUCK Transgenders
FUCK Democrats
FUCK Pronoun Users
FUCK Liberals |
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Obama and Hilary Clinton (old) |
Obama and Hilary Clinton (old) |
Obama can you resign.... |
Hillary Clinton is a liar and should be in prison! |
Moving to Mexico? |
Open letter to the president |
Impeach/Jail Obama for Treason |
Obama is bypassing congress |
Hillary Clinton committed a felony |
How is Hillary Clinton like Adolf Hitler? |
Proof that Obama (and Biden) Hate the Military |
Obama is an evil, racist Nazi |
OBiden and Obama's EEOC: We'll Sue You If You Don't Hire Criminals |
Proof that Obama hates America |
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Infinite Campus |
The Work Connection |
Common Sense Mortgage LendSmart Mortgage |
Florida state law called "Bring your gun to work", but WDW says NO. But I still bring it
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Walt Disney World management breaking the law |
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Abbot And Costello in the the 21st century
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Cartoons
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You just can't make this stuff up
Funny |
Prescription to Kill Funny
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Funny |
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Which is worse?
Man hit in groin OR
Woman giving birth?
True, but funny |
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Life has it's ways of turning around... |
2015 Darwin Awards |
Fun with your age |
The Phone Prank |
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